It’s not inherently bad to feel flattered by compliments, Zar says. It only becomes a problem when external validation starts to affect the way you feel about yourself. “It becomes unhealthy when it feels as though you’re relying on how many messages or matches you get to dictate your entire self worth,” she says. “Self-esteem that’s determined by the opinions of others is precarious; it can just as easily be given to us as it is taken away.” You should have confidence in yourself regardless of how others feel about you – otherwise, swiping through dating apps might feel like putting a Band-Aid over a deeper wound. It helps momentarily, but it doesn’t actually combat your insecurities.

Tracie was onto something, according to Zar: Seeking out validation can sometimes get in the way of finding a healthy relationship

It’s not inherently bad to feel flattered by compliments. It only becomes a problem when external validation starts to affect the way you feel about yourself.

Tracie, 24, found herself in this predicament when she was trying to get over an ex. Read more